Problem

I thought it was only a joke, that my friends laughed at me about “I have poor observing abilities.” Well, I proved that the statement is correct yesterday.

Yesterday, two friends and I returned to our secondary school. We saw students preparing for a BBQ at the playground, that I, or we, was curious about what event was going to be held. When we encounter a teacher, we asked what was the occasion of having a BBQ on a Saturday night. The teacher answered us that it was an activity of the parent-teacher association; she also said that twenty-sth teachers would be coming too. I immediately remembered of my former class teacher. So I asked, actually not expecting to get an answer, that if she would come. The teacher answered me firmly, ‘of course not! She has to take care of her baby. Don’t you know that? She had already given birth a week ago!’

夢裡看

Miss L,

最近你常在我的夢中出現。

曾經有一段時間──就是我對你朝思暮想的那段時間，我多想你在我的夢中出現。告訴你，我有一個優點，就是我懂得從夢境抽離，不會沉溺在其中。因此，我不怕在夢裡遇見你，因為我既不為此狂喜、也不會因而低落。不論是甚麼情景，夢到你，我醒來也是高興的。不要笑，因為我知道許多人都做不到。

但自連夜來所做的夢，我便開始擔心，擔心我認知中的你，會變成我在夢中看見的你。我誠然在情感上，沒有被夢境淹沒；但最近我卻發現，在理性的認知上，夢裡的你彷彿想要蠢食現實中的你。

夜神月終須一死

一向都對《死亡筆記》的題材感興趣，這個星期終於花了兩天時間，看完了37集的動畫版。（順帶一提，我看的是粵語配音，配音和翻譯都做得很好，我甚至覺得配夜神月的比日本聲優還要出色）

看到標題，你或者會認為我在說廢話，實則未然。早前在Book Depository買了本《How to Read Literature》，裡面談到一般人閱讀，最容易忘記的，就是小說的人物純屬虛構。也就是說，我們經常把假的角色當成真的。

（看完第一章我便放棄了繼續閱讀，因為書中提及太多的名著，我都還未看過，所以還是等我的文學素養再成熟些才看）

書中指出，故事對人物的描述，就是虛構角色的一切。故此，假若作者未有提及的話，那個人就是沒有童年、也不會經歷死亡；假若作者未有提及的話，故事某段時間之內，某個角色離開了劇情範圍的話，他不是到別處去了，而是不存在於那段時間。書裡以《咆哮山莊》的Heathcliff為例，故事中段他離開山莊七年，作者都沒有提過，他到哪裡去了、做了些甚麼事，讀者也無謂作猜測。

抱著這個前設，看到結局，我便明白夜神月是終須一死。「終須一死」，是指他必須在鏡頭面前死。在我看來，作者和我一樣，也不捨得夜神月要死、更不捨得要他成為輸家，所以才把夜神月的敗北，寫作是隊友的失誤所致，這點真的頗有意思、值得深究的。

音樂翻譯

Miss L:

談起翻譯，怎麼能不重提往事呢？要不是你，我也肯定不會真的跑去讀翻譯了。L，好久也沒跟你單獨說話了。從未想過要在這裡，像跟S和C那樣，以這種偽書信的方式跟你溝通，因為你比他們要了解我；不用填上收件人一欄，你也知道我要寫給你的，只是我最近喜歡用這種第二人稱的形式寫網誌。

The story of Aruarian Dance

不知Aruarian為何物，只知Nujabes的AruarianDance是一首非常優美的音樂。優美之餘，同時帶有一點憂鬱。沉醉在音樂中，彷彿躺在舒適寬大的床上受皮肉之刑。和諧的音韻，竟然教人內心撕裂（這也是我對日本的印象），為何如此？

看了上面的文章，我便有點頭緒了。原來Aruarian Dance的鼻祖，是一首名為Pavane for Dead Princess的樂章。不必深究歷史，單從曲名，也猜到那是悲傷、悼念故人的音樂。容我事後孔明，聽這種背景的音樂，不就是理應出現聽Aruarian Dance時的情緒嗎──故人既已安息，但我怎也放不下。

隨筆九

Beyond －相依的心

S：

看長篇作品，最不喜歡的，就是在故事中後段，突然出現一名新角色，主導尾段劇情、甚至騎劫第二主角的位置。

赫塞的《鄉愁》（Peter Camenzind）便是這樣，波比在最後兩章才登場，主角很快便跟他成為深交，最後一章大多篇幅，都是寫他的事，甚至結局也是和他渡過的，完全忽略了其他角色。去年有位中學同學，遠赴德國讀書，我送了他這本書。後來，我收到他的明信片。他說，他已經看完了全本書，還告訴我他認為波比的部分最令人感動。我必須同意，他這話是說得對的。故事最發人深省、而且感情色彩最濃厚的；然而我還是認為，在故事鋪排上，與主角共渡結局的人，不應屬於在尾段才出現的空降人物。

For C – with love and anger

C:

First time writing to you here. You existed longer than S, and I’m mad with that being at the moment.

I Drew this week. I love drawing, or more accurately, doodling. I’m not as prolific as I imagined. Few months with no new ideas, and I suddenly got a few this week. A reason for not being prolific is that besides of a drawing, I need a small paragraph of a sort of very simple informal and random tiny poem. I wanted to upload the doodle too but not until this moment I found that I haven’t taken a picture of it yet. And it’s getting late (3:44), so I’m too lazy to do it. Sorry that I could only recap the small paragraph of thing I wrote:

What am I doing with my life

I bet anyone reading this should know my birth date right?

…

Fine, it was my birthday yesterday. It was an ordinary day. Had a luxury breakfast with mom. She bought me a biography of Salinger, which cost her nearly $400. Spent the afternoon doing nothing. Read a few pages of the biography, a few page of Samuel Johnson’s The History of Rasselas, Prince of Abissinia, which I don’t really enjoy it at all. And watched Grade A Under A. Nearly watched all of his videos, except for those ‘why I hate someone videos’ because I don’t know those people he was mentioning. Hang out with two friends at night. That’s all I did.